Many people affected by Alzheimer’s Disease have a tendency to wander. Though it is common behavior, it can cause high levels of stress and fear for caregivers. Wandering isn’t always harmful, but it can be if your loved one is prone to leave. Here are some tips to help ease your fears and minimize the dangers of wandering.
Safety First
The most important thing is your loved one’s safety. While it may sound obvious, caregivers should never leave someone affected by the disease alone. You may think that your loved one is independent enough to care for themselves for a few minutes while you make a “quick trip” to the store. Despite their capabilities, though, your absence could spark an episode of agitation.
Confusion, frustration and boredom are known to prompt wandering behaviors. In your absence, your loved one could become confused and may even fear for your safety. They could get frustrated for being left alone, or simply get bored.
It is not burdensome to depend on your closest friends and family for help when you need to leave. If you don’t have friends or family available for this type of help, familiarize yourself with the community day programs and services that are available to help.
Remove trip hazards and install night lights so as to avoid any falls in the night. Keep dangerous items out of the reach of your loved one and consider childproofing doors and cabinets in your home.
Redirection
Wandering can often be a sign of an unmet basic need such as hunger, body temperature or the need to use the restroom. Keeping your loved one occupied and content is one of the best ways to keep them from wandering. If you observe excessive fidgeting or agitation, consider what basic need must be met.
If, on the other hand, they become bored, confused, or frustrated, you will have to be more creative in finding something to appease them. Knowing what keeps your loved one content can reduce their instinct to elope. Knowing their dislikes will be imperative for avoiding escalation.
Capitalize on their likes by offering to do things they enjoy, such as turning on a sports program or their favorite music. The activity may distract your loved one from whatever agitated them in the first place.
If they have a common escape route, try strategically placing points of interest that can be used as deterrents along the way. Old pictures, for instance, may serve as a distraction. Pointing out these points of interest may engage your loved one in such a way that they forget why they were trying to leave in the first place. Food, books, and other attachment items may also prove to be simple but effective strategies.
If your loved one does elope, it may be your first instinct to tell them they need to return home. Under stress, your tone may even be on the demanding side. They are likely to resist any such requests. You can honor their independence by simply diverting their attention to conversation. “What a great idea to go on a walk today, mom! The weather is perfect, isn’t it?” Simply walk and engage in conversation. As you talk, gently and casually redirect the “walk” back to the house. Consider taking an abnormal route back inside, such as through the back door.
Making your home as wander-friendly as possible could prevent your loved one from ever leaving. Its not necessary to discourage their need to wander, but rather to maintain their safety as they do.
Contributed by Leah Bigham.
As you already know, the challenges that accompany the caregiving role are plenty, not the least of which is maintaining adequate hygiene. Getting ready for the day can be exhausting. While there are some proven methods that help, there is no one-size-fits-all formula. Consider these suggestions as you see to it that your loved one is properly cared for.
1. Be patient with yourself
It is not uncommon to experience complaints, resistance, or even combatant behavior. These are indicative of the disease and not a result of something you are doing wrong. Resist the urge to look for a cause or cast blame upon yourself. Don’t take their frustrations personally.
2. Develop and stick to a routine
Disrupting your loved one’s routine induces anxiety, confusion and frustration. If they feel disoriented, they will be more apt to be resistant or even combative. Come up with a simple morning and evening routine that works well and stick to it as much as possible. Be concise and only include what is necessary. You don’t want to wear your loved one out before they are ready for the day.
3. Encourage independence
Honoring your loved one’s independence, may require more time and direction. Be patient and avoid rushing them. Offer succinct directions so as not to overwhelm them. Give them a task that they are capable of, such as brushing their hair, while you tend to something more difficult like cleaning their dentures. It will boosts their self-esteem, and distract them from the fact that they actually are dependent.
4. Limit correcting
It may be instinctive for you to correct your loved one, especially if you have raised children. But the care we provide for our elderly is contrary to that which we give our children. It is imperative that we, as caregivers, are willing to adapt. Our loved ones aren’t learning to do daily activities, they are forgetting how to do them. The objective here, isn’t to teach them. It is to support them.So when they don’t do something “right” or the way they once did, like parting their hair on the right side instead of the left, resist the temptation to fix it. If it’s not going to put them in harm’s way, let it be. But if it poses a danger, be subtle as you redirect.
5. Prepare for bath time
Bathing can be one of the most difficult challenges. While it is important to communicate to your loved one that you will be giving them a bath, delay doing so. Explaining too soon (before breakfast, for instance) may prompt premature anxiety and they may get fixated on the bath, which will interfere with other activities. It can also make the trip to the bathroom more difficult.
Have everything prepared and ready so they can return to their normal routine as quick as possible. However, be aware that quick and rushed movements may feel aggressive and perhaps even scary. Acknowledge their fears and don’t chastise them for their resistance. Reassure them as you tend to the task.
6. Less is more when it comes to wardrobe
Simplify the dressing process for your loved one by limiting their options of what is available. Remove confusing and restricting articles like pullovers and lace-ups and replace them with zip-ups and slip-ons.If your loved one has an attachment to a certain piece of clothing, it may help to add articles that give them the same tactile and sensory experience.
At the end of the day, remember that your goal is to make sure your loved one is well taken care of. Consider that you may have to set aside some of your own standards. Try to keep your focus on the simple and crucial elements of care.
Contributed by Leah Bingham
Moving a parent or a loved one into assisted living is one of the more difficult milestones in any adult’s life. It represents a loss of independence for the parent and is stressful for everyone involved. Planning ahead for the challenges to come will make the experience easier for everyone.
First, put yourself in your elderly parent’s place. They might be leaving a home they’ve lived in for 50 years. They are certainly having to face new restrictions on their independence. They might be moving away from friends or neighbors they’ve known for years. If they are difficult or uncooperative, be compassionate about the massive change that this represents for them.
Second, acknowledge that you and any siblings and spouses probably are feeling guilty no matter how clearly mom or dad need the help. Look at the quality of life they are currently experiencing and if they would receive more and better care in an assisted living facility.
You may even feel like you should be taking care of them personally but you need to consider the rest of your family and your nursing or senior care skills. Families sometimes search for a fancy senior living facility based on easing their guilt. Instead, focus on what’s best for your loved one and the level of care that they will receive.
Third, try to recruit help from the family members who are going to be the most level-headed. You may find that distant siblings may feel left out and that might translate into unhappy, emotional responses directed at you. Remember that when they offer opinions they are most likely just trying to be helpful rather than criticize. They may be feeling guilty for not being closer.
Listen to their advice – they may have helpful insights – and acknowledge them for caring. You can also help yourself and the rest of the family by reaching out to everyone early in the process to recognize their feelings. Ask those who are not going to be hands-on in the process to help with support in the form of a kind word, a smile, or a hug.
Fourth, be honest with the assisted living facility staff. They need to have accurate information about any care needs your mom or dad may have. Sometimes a family will not disclose everything because they want to improve their chances of being accepted. This is not only dishonest, but it can be dangerous to your loved one’s health. You need to be transparent and provide as much information as possible so the staff can care for all of their needs.
Fifth, setup your loved one’s new rooms to be as comfortable as possible for him or her and for visiting family. It will be difficult to pare down a lifetime of belongings so again, be compassionate in the weeding out process. Remember, too, though that a cluttered, cramped space won’t be comfortable either.
You might also invite each family member to choose something for the new space that they loved to see at mom or dad’s. Maybe your sister loves the painting that’s been over the couch, or your grandson always liked to see the “old timey” photos. Work with the facility staff to get room dimensions and to find out what’s already there.
Finally, realize that you need to be an active care partner for your loved one. You’ll want to get to know the staff. Make sure you know who to contact with questions or concerns. The assisted living staff will need to know who they should contact for any care decisions. Remember that you’ve had a lifetime to get to know mom or dad. But realize too, that the staff members are professionals trained to care for seniors. They understand their health and daily living needs. Be actively present but don’t “helicopter parent” them or your loved one.
This will be an emotional and physical challenge for you and your family, but if you use these strategies to help you plan and prepare, it can be a less stressful experience with a more positive result for everyone.
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David Reed is the David Reed, Founder and Executive Director of Assured Senior Living Solutions, a free senior care referral service in Fresno and Clovis. Contact him at (559) 283-2566 or www.assuredseniorlivingsolutionsfresno.com for more advice or recommendations.
